I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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