you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I understand Curling. That high.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
