So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Barsexuality is the new black.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
