That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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