And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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