please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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