Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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