I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
