So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
