Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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