I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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