woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
should my penis look like a turkey
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
