when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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