Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
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You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
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Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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