and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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