We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
