I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
