thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
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