What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
