Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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