I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She just used a chaser for red wine.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
