His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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