i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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