Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
