i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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