He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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