A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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