she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
