i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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