I'm going to rape someone's good day.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
pray to the hookup gods
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
