if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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