For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
