may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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