Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
