just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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