I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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