Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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