I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
