Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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