I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize