Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
