dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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