So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
