its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
