woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...