Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?

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  (443): I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute? http://tfl.nu/jztq
  Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (3455)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

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  (205): i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail. http://tfl.nu/mxx0
  Replies (15) Good night (6385) Bad night (2081)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1427) Bad night (2934)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag

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  (781): Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag http://tfl.nu/xidr
  Replies (4) Good night (2411) Bad night (945)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse

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  (256): All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse http://tfl.nu/7lt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1905) Bad night (832)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.

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  (907): Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me. http://tfl.nu/90ns
  Replies (27) Good night (970) Bad night (3373)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.

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  (916): If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it. http://tfl.nu/e2co
  Replies (5) Good night (810) Bad night (1133)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"

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  (281): You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike" http://tfl.nu/m449
  Replies (1) Good night (1384) Bad night (508)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo

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  (980): Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo http://tfl.nu/82bd
  Replies (1) Good night (1066) Bad night (487)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.

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  (806): I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex. http://tfl.nu/q7ob
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (456)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk

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  (513): He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk http://tfl.nu/w9ix
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (429)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.

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  (954): When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex. http://tfl.nu/36q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1303) Bad night (334)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My day in three words: secret purse cake

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  (847): My day in three words: secret purse cake http://tfl.nu/hvdp
  Replies (0) Good night (630) Bad night (492)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.

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  (501): Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys. http://tfl.nu/a792
  Replies (3) Good night (1236) Bad night (463)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  " my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."

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  (336): " my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew." http://tfl.nu/sj31
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (236)

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