it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?