Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count