Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
