btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
porn star boner night. come get it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I wish there were birth control emojis
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.