We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
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I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.