Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
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dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.