i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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