this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
