I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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