I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
