I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize