So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.