Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet

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(630): View more from Illinois

Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went

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(416): View more from Toronto

He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

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(805): View more from California

my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?

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(504): View more from Louisiana

But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...

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(208): View more from Idaho

Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.

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(607): View more from New York

She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.

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