Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

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  (312): i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude. http://tfl.nu/vz4x
  Replies (10) Good night (1157) Bad night (740)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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  (403): I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness. http://tfl.nu/0zt1
  Replies (8) Good night (846) Bad night (2011)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (201) Good night (81910) Bad night (4916)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"

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  (718): you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD" http://tfl.nu/zg6m
  Replies (29) Good night (1203) Bad night (4746)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City

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  (609): Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City http://tfl.nu/hsks
  Replies (64) Good night (5043) Bad night (578)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.

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  (708): Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places. http://tfl.nu/g3d1
  Replies (22) Good night (3356) Bad night (973)
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  (209): View more from California

  His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.

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  (209): His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it. http://tfl.nu/5398
  Replies (19) Good night (6557) Bad night (821)
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  (213): View more from California

  I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

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  (213): I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on. http://tfl.nu/rma0
  Replies (21) Good night (6446) Bad night (1587)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....

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  (956): Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both..... http://tfl.nu/0n6l
  Replies (4) Good night (2180) Bad night (849)
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  (510): View more from California

  I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay

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  (510): I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay http://tfl.nu/zswj
  Replies (15) Good night (1627) Bad night (892)
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like

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  (227): He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like http://tfl.nu/muep
  Replies (13) Good night (1506) Bad night (642)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...

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  (613): Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches... http://tfl.nu/4xud
  Replies (9) Good night (1046) Bad night (455)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month

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  (412): somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month http://tfl.nu/lqqv
  Replies (3) Good night (365) Bad night (439)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.

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  (202): My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream. http://tfl.nu/02rn
  Replies (9) Good night (1262) Bad night (319)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?

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  (902): Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport? http://tfl.nu/84nt
  Replies (3) Good night (514) Bad night (350)

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