loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day