a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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