he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm really busy with my period
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