It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
