Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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