You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize